Tuesday, September 6, 2016

#BlogElul Day 3: Search

Without intending to, I've been searching all day for a topic to speak to me with regards to "searching" during Elul. The first thing that came to mind was this of course:

I find myself, often searching for a few things--most of all, time. I always feel like there are never enough hours in the day; that often I'm running around from one activity to the next, planning, scheduling, data entrying, meetings, so much so that I'm always thinking of the next time I get to breathe.
This is my third quiet moment of the day!

Sometimes it's searching for the time to "make time"--today I went from meeting to lunch to conversation and found myself with approximately an hour and fifteen minutes before my next meeting. Realizing that my walking back to the office would let me have thirty minutes there before my next meeting, I decided to walk to campus early and sit outside on a patio overlooking Ithaca. While I'm slightly sunburnt, the quiet time and time away from my computer helped me recharge--I looked at my planner, closed my eyes, listened to nearby piano playing, enjoyed the sun. By the time my next meeting came around, I was ready, enthusiastic, and excited.

I find myself searching for challenges--to push myself out of my comfort zones, ask questions, and try to figure out the things that I don't understand (and at times, face my fears). Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to seek out mice or anything --I'm not crazy--but I do attempt to not let fear get in the way of me doing things. I seek out opportunities to build relationships, to get lost on campus, to use different parts of my brain so that I don't get too worn out.
This isn't mine...but it's pretty cool.

I'm most likely searching for things on a daily basis, and only half of the time conscious of what I'm actually looking for. Like U2, I still haven't found what I'm looking for, but sometimes when you stop looking for something, it comes to you out of nowhere.

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