#BlogBOmer: Hod B'Netzach

This blog post deals with the combination of humility and endurance, a quiet strength that lives within us and pushes us to move forward, to meet and beat our own expectations. While this blog goes out to a more recent friend, I think he embodies this combination well, and so I'm honored to dedicate this blog to Dennis K.

Stolen from Facebook, but remarkably pensive!

I met Dennis in August of 2014 at the first cohort of Taglit Fellows in Chicago. His reputation had preceded him--as a kind, quiet leader who always went on the Taglit-Birthright Israel: Hillel ASL trips (though I didn't know why as of yet). It happened that Dennis and I were sitting at a table together in a random free moment (they rarely happened) and I took a chance: I introduced myself to Dennis and asked him to tell me his story. Who he was, what he believed in, why he was there. More surprisingly, Dennis was game. He told me about his family, his history in Hillel, his love of the ASL Birthright trip and his poetry. His tone was quiet, humble, and he never bragged--but the words he shared were meaningful and memorable. He then turned my own questions on me: what was my story?

I claimed mine wasn't so interesting yet--after all, I was still getting through it. Dennis pushed and so I shared my story...my ups and downs, my failures and flaws and what I've learned from them (and how to better some of them) and how I got to be at the Taglit Fellows conference in the first place. Dennis claimed that my story was more interesting than I had imagined--and that it might not matter that I was in the middle of it. If I were able to endure all of the challenges, the continuous ups and downs, I might be able to continue creating a fascinating and enlightening story. 

This meant a lot coming from Dennis, who had a love of and knack for words. Words endure or years after they're spoken--and quiet/humble ones may be just as meaningful (if not more so) than loud and proud ones. Dennis has since also taken chances, enduring in his own way and on his own merit. I'm proud to call him a colleague and thrilled that he took a chance on an odd question in the middle of a Chicago conference!

#BlogBOmer: Netzach B'Netzach

We're officially at the midpoint of the Omer...and it's amazing to think that there's still 25 days until we get to Shavuot. Today is also a "square day," (yes 25, but also) a day where the theme of the day matches the theme of the week. Netzach B'Netzach or (super endurance) is definitely something that makes me think of goals set, strength-training, and enduring patience in the face of adversity. Let's pull up our sefirot map again, to see what we're looking at:

Netzach is in the bottom right corner of the map!

When checking out Netzach, we can see that it's part of what's refered to as the "Pillar of Mercy," connected in a straight line to chochmah (wisdom) and chesed (acts of loving-kindness). It makes sense that the person that I chose for this particular post has a decent combination of all three, and needs them to do his job as a Tour Educator. Here's looking at you Ran E!

 Ran making friends with a baby goat (Photo Cred: Me)

When my Summer 2014 Birthright trip thinks of Ran, they probably think that I'm picking him for endurance squared because of his workouts, his all-meat diets, or his ability to run around Masada without losing his breath. (Ran's nodding his head now). That's only part of his ability to endure. When meeting Ran this summer (Shiran and I hadn't had an opportunity to Skype with him beforehand), we were thrown into a whirlwind experience of trying to balance our expectations with Ran's talent, educational goals, and crazy sense of humor. He had to endure our desires and defenses of our students (WEAR YOUR HATS PEOPLE), our ability to get into fights with hotel staff when his back was turned, and our playing keep-away with green Laffy Taffys. 

Birthright isn't an easy thing to staff; it's a challenge to juggle forty-eight personalities in two-three different languages and then figure out a good structure for our bus driver, his madrichim, and our "guard." But Ran endured constantly, utilizing a good sense of humor, a loud voice, and an ability to adapt when Shiran and I approached him directly and openly. He recognized that sometimes the best way to meet our daily educational goals was to find a decent measure of fun and function, of education and exploration, of open debate and operational definitions of what Israel was to everyone involved. 

Blurry, but we were all cracking up laughing (Soldier's program) (Photo Cred: Me)

Ran endured during a drastically overscheduled program for our particular trip, including three nights out and a Mega-event that tested even the most patient of us (not particularly any one of our greatest virtues). He took care of logistics, defended his staff and his students, created a warm and welcoming environment, and did it all in 100 degree weather (yikes).  During my winter trip, when I faced some adversity of my own, he talked me through my own problems with a smile, a laugh, and a reminder that it was okay to sit down and relax once in a while. 

While I don't get to head to Israel with him this summer (hey, I tried!), I know that any trip that goes with him is going to get a strong, charismatic, and enduring tour educator, mentor, and friend. And if all else fails, don't worry...he can always catch a nap on the bus.

Caught napping on the job! (Photo Cred: Shiran!)

Personal note to Ran: Thank you for everything. (You know what you've done).

#BlogBOmer: Tiferet B'Netzach

Wait, what? I'm actually caught up with this blog post? (Yes you naysayers...I normally post the day during the day of, and not at night when it starts!). HOW EXCITING! And it kind of makes sense to work on these enduring blog posts and catch up on the day of tiferet (balance is one of its definitions!). This particular blog post goes out to another enduring friendship, one that's had an intense amount of compassion, harmony, beauty, and balance thanks to the other person who's in it. I am so thankful in my life for having her in it--this post goes out to Shifra M!

 Sometimes Shifra steals my Dad when I'm not aroudn...NBD though. It's cool.

Shifra or "Shif'd'ra" was one of my favorite friends that I made during my time in NFTY-GER, meeting at our first Conclave in the Summer of 2000. We have been through a LOT together and can go for ages without speaking, only to have a two hour conversation one night when it's least expected (or when one of us is driving home late at night and wants a friend to debrief with). 

Throughout my entire high school experience, Shifra balanced out my ridiculousness with her calm demeanor and rule-following, making sure that I continued to not get kicked out of another camp, a conclave, or whatever setting I was making a fool of myself in. She followed carefully every relationship/drama struggle that I may have gotten into and always calmly and patiently endured every crying spell, hysterical laughter, and explained that perhaps, by thinking things through, I might be able to get over whatever "tragicomedy" had just played out in my normal life. 

 Can't. Stop. Laughing. (2003? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
P.S. Hi Joey!

Even as I started to really grow up, moving through college (pictured below) and planning moves to Philly, and then eventually to New York, Shifra was on the phone for every major moment. We cried together over losing Mama Malkin (to this day, I will never forget that phone call), cried over the ending of a seven year relationship on my part, cried from laughing over the reality of certain men never really knowing what they want. Her compassion never wavered. Shifra walked me through the balance of understanding that when I returned to NFTY-GER as an advisor, I wasn't really looked at as a kid anymore (i.e. I could use my cell phone without it getting taken away!), but should really act as a role model for my BSTYGgers...in whatever way I could make that happen. She listened as one relationship ended and another began, and understood as I was moving away from being in any relationship at all. She understood every fear, every concern and treated every single moment with a special type of compassion, leading me to believe that even as I was packing in a blackout (thanks Hurricane Sandy), everything would be all right. 

Straight thugging. Outside my GWU apartment.

If it weren't for Shif's ability to endure all that I've put her through, our friendship would not be nearly as strong. I am so thrilled that we still remain close, and that we'll continue to be friends for a long time. Shif'd'ra, whether you're laughing or shaking your head at me for all the pictures (or stories), know that I love you and that I'm proud of you for all you do. Can't wait for your next late-night car call!

#BlogBOmer: Gevurah B'Netzach

When writing these posts, I'm pretty well aware of what my strengths are (mostly chesed and yesod) and I need to work on (mostly everything else). Netzach is a particularly difficult week for me to write for--I often struggle with endurance, tiring out after walking too far (don't get double pneumonia) or struggling when goals aren't met as quickly as I would like. Gevurah or self-discipline/restraint is another one of my struggles (okay, but really...I have trouble saying "No." I'm working on it).

I'm thrilled that the immediate person that I thought of when coming to this particular day was another one of my closest and oldest friends. I dedicate this one to the only person that can understand what I'm saying when English isn't my friend--this one's for you Josh L.!

He'll be thrilled that I pulled this picture from Facebook. (So disciplined).

Josh and I have been friends (somehow) since the summer of 2001 [we are SO old] when we bonded over the lovable and wonderful Kutz Camp. (Pictured below, we were adorable). Since that moment, we've spent countless hours on the phone, shared many a meal, enjoyed my senior prom (he was an excellent date), and most recently, he got the chance to lecture me on my very decent inability to keep myself out of a doctor's office [it should be noted that I saw him mere days before being diagnosed with pneumonia...]. He has a wicked sense of humor (and a horrible love of puns), a great sense of adventure, and is loving, caring, and committed to those he truly cares about. 

So why pick this crazy kid for the most serious of disciplines? When you think of discipline and endurance, you don't necessarily think about adventure, fun, and arguments with cab drivers. But Josh manages to do all that while working extremely hard (he's already disagreeing with me here) and planning out his next move for how to go further, do better, and take the next step (now he's nodding). But when you share a friend/familyship with someone for fourteen years, I'd call that enduring. Josh's discipline helps push me to make better decisions, to talk out confusing fears and failures, and to DREAM BIG (but only if I'm willing to put in the work to get there!). 

Every conversation that Josh and I have somewhat revolves around "starting from the beginning" and making sure that we're both hearing all of the details of every story/problem until we start co-problem solving. His cross-country concern and calm are often what puts me back on track for my own goals and processes--it is the combination of discipline and endurance that help us reach the highest of our goals. Josh for me is a friend, brother, coach, and not shy about sharing when he disapproves (which might be rare, but still happens enough for me to recognize the change in tone!) of what I'm doing. 

As promised, the photo of...2 years into our friendship?

Kutz Camp & UMC (Photo Cred: Shif'd'ra!)

*Personal note to JBL: I am very thankful for all the discipline and love you've put into this friendship and can't wait to hear about your adventures in Paris. Love you kiddo!

#BlogBOmer: Chesed B'Netzach

We're currently about to be in the middle of the fourth week of the Omer (and I'm a little behind), but we are currently in the week of Netzach, thought of as endurance in this particular blog experiment. As I've been writing over these last few weeks (and catching up over the last few days!), I've noticed something--each blog MEANS something to someone. It may affect the person it's dedicated to, or a friend of theirs...but either way, that person who inspires ME may end up inspiring another. And that's a pretty cool reaction. Train of thought over...back to writing this blog. I hope that the #BlogBOmer posts endure until next year (and that I don't lag too badly once I've caught up!), but am thrilled that each week starts with a familiar theme: Chesed.

Chesed, if you remember, refers to loving-kindness. So when thinking about how these two things interact (loving kindness & endurance), I started thinking about people who really put their all into everything they do, especially when it comes to caring for others. I started thinking about coaches (shout out to my own volleyball coach who had enduring patience for me), teachers, and friends. I decided to dedicate this particular blog post to my own enduring teammate in the trenches: Becca M.

 Oregon Hillel family team again (Photo Cred: Paul Gitelson)

Becca came into my life in April of 2013, excited and well-prepared to begin a life in Eugene, Oregon as our new Director of Student Engagement. I was excited and nervous and happy and unsure of what it would mean to have a new coworker...I've never been particularly good at uncertainty. Regardless, Becca came into my life with a kindness, a brand of chesed and happiness that cheers me on a pretty regular basis. Whether it's dancing in my office, singing the Lego Movie theme song with me ("Everything is awesome....." during a particularly tough moment), sprinkling happy aura around me, or visiting me when I'm quarantined, Becca's kindness is abundant.

What you might not know about Becca is that she's also a marathon runner (woooo!) and that she uses her own personal endurance to get through every race, task, and opportunity that's handed to her. She's even managed to use her chesed/netzach combo to guide her in her personal weekly community service work with Girls on the Run, working with young girls in constructing their personal confidence as they find their stride both in their runs and in life. As the staff member currently working with Oregon Hillel's intramural team (I merely get to come and cheer them on from the sidelines!), she's already 2-0 in their spring season; it's her kindness and dedication that cause a warm and welcoming team atmosphere, regardless of the game's outcome.

Celebrating after their FIRST win! (Photo cred: ME!)

We've made it through two and a half terms so far and I'm very excited to see how our future unfolds. Regardless, I hope that some of Becca's chesed/netzach combination will rub off on me--running's not so much in my blood!

 

#BlogBOmer: Malchut B'Tiferet

I am getting there! It's hard to believe that I am wrapping up the week of Tiferet (even though I know we've already legitimately entered into the week of Netzach--whoops!). I find that I struggle with many (but not all) of the sefirot that we discuss through the Omer, but none more so than malchut--this idea of leadership or sovereignty. I think that I am constantly trying to find the type of leader that I hope to be, that I wish I could be, that I feel comfortable being...or some combination of the three. Being able to understand how leadership leads to compassion and harmony is a sign of maturity, creativity, and generosity.

One person who I think has this combination covered (and in style) is Lillian F-H. And so this blog begins...

Lillian, Lisa, and Me at Kutz Camp (Photo Cred: Lisa)

First and foremost, I have to thank HUC-JIR and Melissa Z-S for bringing Lillian and I together in a ridiculous, incredible, and wonderful manner. As participants in the HUC-JIR Certificate in Jewish Education Specializing in Adolescents and Emerging Adults program, we had an incredible amount of time to problem-solve, program-write, and personally reflect on what it is that we were trying to accomplish in our respective personal and professional lives. While she's across the country from me now, I am lucky enough to know that we've still got that ability to get together at a moment's notice to bring us back to that place of mutual reflection and reaction.

Lillian is an incredible leader in her own right, knowing herself to her fullest extent and knowing when to speak, when to hold back, when to step-in and when to let others shine. She's always one of the first people to volunteer, to set an example, or to debate a point, but she's also known for her incredible compassion and listening ear as others tell her their about their fears, fallacies, and faiths. I was lucky in my program to often sit near her (and Facebook message her) during our sessions, to watch her creatively approach problems with an artistic eye, and to sing incredible (if not incorrect) lyrics in our shared hotel room. 

It's no surprise to me that Lillian's doing well in her new job in MD, one of her (NOW MY) students at UO tells me all the time about how they've kept in touch...and at times, he even delivers messages from her to me. While I don't necessarily have the time always to keep in touch personally, every time I get a message from TJ (from Lillian!), I stop and smile, reminding myself that there's someone out there that gets it, that gets ME, and that I am very very lucky. 

But...most importantly, I introduced her to Crumbs.

This picture is awesome. Photo Cred: ME.

#BlogBOmer: Yesod B'Tiferet

This is  my third week writing about yesod (bonding), but every time I write it, I think about yesod as a foundation, something that made me who I am. The first week (Yesod B'Chesed) I wrote about my brother, Adam. The second week (Yesod B'Gevurah) I wrote about myself. So this week, when thinking about my foundation and who I think of immediately when I think of compassion & harmony, there's no contest: I dedicated this to my best friend and favorite person (aside from Ellie), Joey L.

My fabulous date at my brother's wedding (Photo Cred: Julie Wallick!)

Joey-bear has been one of my oldest and closest friends (really family) for as long as I can remember. He is all of the sefirot combined: loving and kind, disciplined, compassionate, enduring, humble, a strong leader, and a huge part of my ability to bond. His friendship, passion, and caring are a lot of what keeps me smiling (even if we don't get to talk as much as I'd like to.

But Yesod B'Tiferet, this idea of bonding in harmony and compassion: that's our friendship in a nutshell. There is never a time that I head home that I don't let Joey know first, and thus far he's managed to head back to Rockland to spend some time with me on each visit (that's FOUR hours of driving round-trip!). He's one of the first people that I ask to be my date to any family function (and to be fair, he's usually my family's first choice as well!) and I know that whenever we're together, everything's going to be just fine. 

For all of my craziness and up and down moving around, Joey is stable, happy, and my go-to favorite second brother. We are bonded for always, he is definitively a huge part of my foundation. Now if only all of his sefirot talents could rub off on me---then we'd be in harmony. 

*On a personal note, I love you Joey-bear. Thank you for always being a part of my life.